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I met my partner on Tinder, the dating app that gets the worst reputation of them all. After all, it’s mainly for hookups, people with commitment issues, and the occasional catfish, right?
Apparently not. In 2023, one-in-ten partnered adults in the US met their significant other through an online dating platform.
In my case, one lucky swipe didn’t happen without a hurdle (or six!) in my way. Like most dating app users, I went through the four stages of frustration on the regular: download, swipe, become irritated by terrible pickup lines, delete – and repeat.
While few relationship-seekers actually *enjoy* spending extended times on dating apps, many see them as a necessary step in their search for love. Globally, an estimated 350 million people use dating apps, with Tinder leading the pack in downloads. Most of the big names are owned by the same company, Match Group (could that name have been any more obvious?!).
But for those eager to fast-track the process, more extreme approaches are becoming common. Millenials, in particular, are giving it their all to find love, choosing to sign up for reality TV shows where they date blindly , outsource their flirting game to ChatGPT, or spend thousands on dating coaches to find their perfect match.
Then there are those who just want to escape the cycle. With dating app fatigue on the rise, many Gen Z are ditching the swipe altogether, preferring to connect without a phone in their hand or ‘protect their peace’ and abstain from dating altogether.
This trend is already leaving its mark — and dating app downloads are falling fast. In the case of Bumble, the situation was so drastic that the previous CEO, Whitney Wolfe Herd, actually returned to her position after stepping down 14 months earlier. She felt she needed to get the app back on track after an anti-celibacy ad campaign infuriated the internet. Now she’s committed to helping more people find their match than ever before.
What’s your take? Do you think dating apps will continue to have a place in modern dating, or will they be phased out as people choose to connect more organically?
Anna
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Some numbers
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74%
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74% of users report experiencing ghosting on dating apps.
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82.8 million
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China is estimated to have the most dating app users with 82.8 million people.
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69%
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On average, women saw an increase of 69% more matches when they included a dog in one or more of their pictures, while men saw an increase of 38% more matches.
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Read between the lines
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An Experimental New Dating Site Matches Singles Based On Their Browser History — Wired, Jason Parham (2025)
What if you could meet your soulmate not through superficial attraction, but by sharing a common affinity for niche, online rabbit holes? Belgian artist Dries Depoorter created a dating app that matches people based on their search history.
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Fired Federal Worker Flirts on Finch — The New York Times, Nina Cahill (2025)
What makes an app a dating app? This edition of NYT’s Modern Love column tells the story of how one single asked someone out through her phone, but not by using your typical swipe-based platform.
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The New Old Dating Trend — The Atlantic, Faith Hill (2023)
Matchmaking is making a comeback — with a modern twist. This article looks at how these matchmaking companies have been helping their clients find love through a combination of ‘art and science’.
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Did dating apps kill crushes? — Dazed, Serena Smith (2024)
This article makes the case that the abundance of today’s dating apps has led to the death of the ‘crush’. As people meet through their phones, there’s no need to wonder ‘do they like me…’ as expectations are already clearly communicated by a successful swipe.
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Ways to get inspired
D4100
A London-based initiative that hosts events that bring together one hundred people for dinner and — on occasion — at specific singles nights.
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SITCH
A modern matchmaking service based in NYC, SITCH aims to connect singles based on common interests, offering them 3-5 curated profiles a week instead of the usual dating app overload.
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BREEZE
Available throughout many European cities, BREEZE is one of the most well-known ‘offline-first’ dating apps. If two users match, they can’t chat, but automatically plan their first date at a partnering bar in their city.
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Mixed(media) signals on dating
Nobody said modern dating was for the faint of heart. From worrying about being catfished, getting the ick at the first sign of a red flag, or questioning whether you’re even talking to a human, these multimedia examples provide a snapshot into the good, the bad, and the ugly of finding love in the 21st century.
Investigative podcast: Sweet Bobby
By Tortoise Media, this 6-episode podcast series follows Kirat and Bobby’s unusual relationship. Though they are unable to see each other face-to-face, they fall in love — until Kirat becomes suspicious.
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Movie: The Materialists
A young, successful matchmaker in New York City finds herself torn between choosing her perfect match, a man who checks all her boxes, and her imperfect ex, who suddenly reappears in her life.
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TV show: The Sex Lives of College Girls
A witty, coming-of-age comedy featuring four first-year university roommates who vow to make the most of their college experience and throw themselves headfirst into the dating pool — but they might just learn a thing or two about themselves in the process.
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Instagram account: beam_me_up_softboi
A collection of the most absurd interactions on dating apps, from cheesy, yet oddly creative pickup lines to profile descriptions that could make you do a double take.
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Podcast: Dating Apps Suck. A.I. Clones Are Making Them Even Weirder.
Ever wondered what AI dating could look like in practice? NYT reporter Eli Tan made profiles on dating apps that promise to enhance connection through AI chatbots to test the hypothesis.
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Dating show: Love on the spectrum
We can hardly discuss the topic of modern dating without throwing a dating show into the mix. Arguably the most wholesome pick, Love on the Spectrum follows singles with autism as they navigate their way towards romance.
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Through art
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Relationship material — Pixy Liao
The artist photographs herself with her partner Takahiro Morooka in a series of staged, often-humorous self-portraits. These don’t just document the evolution of their relationship but comment on and aim to deconstruct traditional gender roles.
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Guise — Allister Ann
Photographer Allister Ann went on a Tinder date nearly every day for a month. She took a photo of each of her dates, capturing a piece of her dating history in the process and holding onto these moments of interaction — whether they faded into nothingness or led to deeper connection.
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Illustrating Modern Love — David B. Torch
David B. Torch, the illustrator behind NYT’s Modern Love column, talks about what it’s been like working on these illustrations for the past 14 years and the workflow behind it.
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Our Picks
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At the beach, in every life — debut album by singer-songwriter Gigi Perez.
paloma the peach — the illustrator’s YouTube channel where she shares long-form, relaxing art content and studio vlogs of her creative processes.
Elsewhere — a book by Alexis Schaitkin on a small town in which girls get married, become mothers and then, quite often, disappear.
All the Beauty in the World: The Metropolitan Museum of Art and Me — a memoir by Patrick Bringley about life, loss, and art, through his 10 years as a museum guard at the MET.
The Better Sister — a gripping drama about two sisters entangled in family secrets, betrayal, and a mystery that could tear them apart.
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